The benefits of overcoming perfectionism and how to do it
Definition of perfectionists vs. high achievers
There is a core difference between perfectionists and high achievers; and this difference makes one personality more productive and successful than the other. A perfectionist can do really well, but the high achiever will usually do much better. Perfectionism can be both an asset and a hindrance. High achievers have the best of both worlds.
To become a truly remarkable person it can seem logical that one should be a perfectionist. You should always strive for the best, and never be satisfied with anything less.
This is pretty close to the attitude you should have, but some small distinctions can mean the difference between enjoying your journey to mastery, and struggling through your entire life.
Being perfect in an imperfect world means you are constantly fighting everything. High achievers flow much more naturally with the flow of the disorganised world.
Striving towards perfection is not a bad thing. But realising it is impossible is paramount. Except perhaps in the results of mathematics, there is no such thing as perfection. Everything can always be made just that little bit better.
Perfection is an unattainable goal, but pursuit of it leads to excellence.
The advantages of perfectionism
Perfectionists are certainly not all failures. In fact some of the most successful people in history were perfectionists. Here are a few reasons why:
- They have really strong motivation
- They will work long and hard
- They have the will to keep improving
Problems with perfectionism
Unfortunately there are also quite a few things about perfectionists that hold them back...
- They tend to focus their energy in the wrong areas. The strong motivation and hard work is only beneficial if it is being applied to the most important areas. Often the most important areas get neglected because something else is being perfected. This is a common trait for geniuses and often makes them unbearable to live with.
- They have unrealistic goals
- They always fail because their goals are impractical and their results are never good enough.
- They can be bad procrastinators. They paralyse themselves from taking action because of their all-or-nothing approach. If they can’t do it perfectly, they don’t want to do it at all.
- They usually seek approval from outside sources. They need this to feel worthy.
- They avoid mistakes. By doing so, they avoid the opportunity to learn from them.
- They want the end result of being successful; they don’t like the process. Bear in mind that the process is what they spend the vast majority of their time doing. They, therefore, don’t enjoy themselves most of the time.
- They cannot delegate because they don’t believe anyone can do the task as well as they can.
The perfect personality – the high achiever
The high achiever is very similar to the perfectionist in a lot of respects. However there are a few differences between the personalities that make the high achiever attitude more beneficial. The high achiever has all the benefits of the perfectionist, without the disadvantages.
Benefits of the high achiever
- Always focuses on the most productive or important area
- Will make something as good as possible, but move on when something else becomes more important.
- Has the will to keep improving
- Will work hard and long
- Has really strong motivation
- Sets realistic short term goals
- Celebrates successes, but doesn’t get stuck on them
- Don’t feel overwhelmed by unrealistic goals, so they get on with tasks
- Learn from their mistakes
- Enjoy the process of improving
The high achiever realises that perfection is impossible; and revels in that fact. They may have perfectionist ideals, but they also realise they are impossible. They may strive for 100%, but they will still celebrate and be happy with a less than perfect mark. For them, life is more like a game. There are problems, but they are treated as challenges to overcome.
They are result oriented, but the enjoyment comes from the journey, not from the destination. For them the journey is the destination.
This allows them to live in the present and enjoy themselves now. They don’t have to wait until they achieve something to enjoy themselves; although they do enjoy themselves when they succeed.
When things don’t go perfectly, those things become a learning experience. They become a way for improving and doing better next time.
They don’t get stuck on insignificant things. They will work hard to make something as good as they can and they will see things through to completion. But if something else becomes more important they will change their focus to work on that instead. Unlike the perfectionist, they don’t work on unimportant matters when other things are crying for their attention.
They focus on short term, realistic goals. Because of this, they don’t have a fear of starting things. They take one step at a time, and so no step seems daunting.
What they produce is quality, but it is not perfect. They realise that if it isn’t perfect yet, they can still start making use of something and then come back and make it better later.
Changing
If you are a perfectionist there a few stages you will have to go through in order to change. First, you need to understand exactly what the perfectionist mentality is. You then need to understand the problems with the perfectionist’s way of thinking. Then you need to believe that the high achiever mentality is better, and you won’t lose anything by obtaining it. Finally, you need to change your thought habits so that you start to think with the high achiever mentality.
Hopefully, by reading this article, you should understand the problems with the perfectionist mentality. Now you have to take it on as a belief.
One of the best ways I’ve found to challenge your modes-of-thinking is by journaling. Grab a note pad and pen and note down specific situations where you had a perfectionist’s reaction.
Write down the problems that reacting in this way has caused. Go through my list of disadvantages and ask yourself if any of them occurred. Also list the advantages you received from thinking with a perfectionist attitude.
Follow it up by writing about your ideal way of reacting. How can you keep all the benefits, and get rid of the disadvantages?
For example, when I first started investigating ways of improving my memory I wanted to improve the techniques I found in the books. I spent so long trying to come up with the perfect technique that I never actually practiced the skills. There was really no need for this. I eventually realised that I could gain the benefits from the existing techniques and then work on improving them later.
Set yourself small goals to achieve every day. Make the goals things that should take you less than an hour to do. When you finish, ask yourself what the most important thing for you to do next is. It may be to take the next step with what you were already doing. But it may be something completely different. After a hard day’s work, the most important thing may even be to take a break. Through experience you will gradually learn what the most important things are. What one activity will bring the biggest reward? Or what will bring problems if you don’t do it?
Steven Covey’s ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ will be a very beneficial read if you need to learn how to prioritise your time.
When something in your life doesn’t go smoothly it could well be because you haven’t prioritised correctly. A mad dash for a present for your mother’s birthday, for example, could be the result of working when you should have been shopping.
When you are distracted by something ask yourself whether that thing is more important. Is it something that you should be doing now, or can it wait? Respond to the high priority things, but don’t get distracted by the low priority ones.
When you set goals, make sure you can clearly identify when you have reached your goal. Make sure you identify when something is good enough. Set your goals small and short term. When you achieve it, celebrate. Then re-evaluate your goals and move onto the next thing.
Take pleasure with the small successes. Notice when you get that little bit further. Reward yourself for being that little bit better than you were, but don’t be content with it.
Take notice of the smallest of improvements. Whenever you notice one, take pride in the fact that you or it is slightly better than before.
Making subtle, but consistent, changes in the way you think can have a dramatic impact on your achievements through life.
Now I’m going to stop redrafting this article. It may not be perfect, but I have to write my newsletter before it gets too late. If I tried to get everything perfect before I published it, my subscribers would never get another message!
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